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No Man’s an Island – Episode 4 with Ellen O’Donoghue

Episode four of No Man's an Island with Chris Hemmings and Ellen O'Donoghue

Men’s Therapy Hub launch week continues with another episode of No Man’s an Island. This is a vital conversation about suicide prevention that meets men where they are. Chris Hemmings speaks with Ellen O’Donoghue, Chief Executive of James’s Place and co‑chair of the National Suicide Prevention Alliance. Ellen draws on years of public health leadership at Movember and Public Health England to unpack what brings men into suicidal crisis, why many do not see themselves as having a mental health problem, and how a focused, rapid clinical intervention can dismantle crisis and restore hope. We explore James’s Place’s model – swift access within two working days, structured therapy delivered by trained clinicians, practical signposting for issues like debt and relationships, and welcoming spaces designed for men. Ellen also looks ahead – the need for early intervention, stable funding, smarter collaboration and campaigns that go to where men are. If you work with men, love a man or are a man navigating tough ground, this episode offers clarity, practicality and a path out of the darkest moments.

What we cover

  • Why suicidal crisis often stems from life problems men cannot solve – not a diagnosis
  • James’s Place’s model – urgent access, structured therapy, safe spaces
  • The IMV lens – who a man is, what is happening now, proximity to means
  • “Go to where men are” – designing services and messaging that land
  • Collaboration, funding and scaling crisis services across the UK
  • Early years and early intervention as long‑term prevention

Listen and watch

Takeaways for men

  • If you are in crisis you deserve help – you are exactly who services like James’s Place are for
  • Name it – asking directly about suicide can open the door to safety
  • Crisis can pass – with structured support you can move beyond the worst moments
  • Practical problems need practical help – therapy plus signposting works
  • You do not have to find help alone – let services come to where you are

Quotes to share

  • “The man we see often does not think he has a mental health problem – he has a life problem he cannot solve.” – Ellen O’Donoghue
  • “With the right structured support men get better and get better quickly.” – Ellen O’Donoghue
  • “It should not be a person’s job to find help – it is our job to get help to them.” – Ellen O’Donoghue
  • “You cannot solve the problem you cannot talk about – name suicide when you see it.” – Ellen O’Donoghue

Resources and links

Episode credits

Hosted by Chris Hemmings with Ellen O’Donoghue. Produced by Men’s Therapy Hub. Recorded 2025.

For more resources and reading, explore our  Men’s Mental Health Tools.

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How to choose a therapist:

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re thinking about starting therapy. Maybe for the first time. That’s no small thing. Getting to this point takes guts. Admitting that things might not be quite right and deciding to do something about it is a massive first step. So first off, well done.

We know choosing a therapist can feel overwhelming. There are a lot of options and it’s easy to get stuck not knowing where to start. That’s why we created our Get Matched service. It’s designed to take some of the stress out of finding the right person for you.

Still not sure who’s right? That’s okay. Here are a few things to keep in mind.

Work Out What You Need

Before anything else, try to get clear on what’s going on for you. Are you struggling with anxiety, depression, or something that feels harder to describe? Maybe it’s your relationships or how you see yourself. Whatever it is, having a rough idea of what you want to work on can help guide your search.

Some therapists specialise in certain areas. Others work more generally. If you’re not sure what you need, ask. A good therapist will be honest about what they can help with.

Think About What Makes You Comfortable

Therapy only works if you feel safe enough to talk. So the relationship matters. Here are a few questions to help you figure out what feels right.

  • Would you rather speak to someone from your own home, or in-person somewhere else?

  • Do you feel more at ease with someone who listens quietly, or someone who’s more direct?

  • Would you benefit from seeing someone who understands your background or lived experience?

There are no right answers here. Just what works for you.

Look Beyond the Letters

Every therapist listed on Men’s Therapy Hub is registered with a professional body. That means they’ve trained properly, they follow a code of ethics and they’re committed to regular supervision and ongoing development. So you don’t have to worry about whether someone’s legit. They are.

Instead, focus on what else matters. What kind of therapy do they offer? What do they sound like in their profile? Do they come across as someone you could talk to without feeling judged?

Try to get a sense of how they see the work. Some will be more reflective and insight-based. Others might focus on behaviour and practical strategies. Neither is right or wrong. It’s about what speaks to you.

Test the Waters

Many therapists offer a free or low-cost first session. Use it to get a feel for how they work. You can ask about their experience, how they structure sessions and what therapy might look like with them. A few good questions are:

  • Have you worked with men facing similar issues?

  • What does your approach involve?

  • How do your sessions usually run?

Pay attention to how you feel during the conversation. Do you feel heard? Do you feel safe? That gut feeling counts.

It’s Okay to Change Your Mind

You might not get it right the first time. That’s normal. If something feels off, or you don’t feel like you’re making progress, it’s fine to try someone else. You’re allowed to find someone who fits. Therapy is about you, not about sticking it out with the first person you meet.

Starting therapy is a big decision. It means you’re ready to stop carrying everything on your own. Finding the right therapist can take time, but it’s worth it. The right person can help you make sense of things, see patterns more clearly and move forward with strength and clarity.

You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to start.

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About our therapists

At Men’s Therapy Hub, we understand that finding the right therapist is an important step in the journey towards better mental health. That’s why we ensure that all our therapists are fully qualified and registered with, or licenced by,  a recognised professional body – guaranteeing that they meet the highest standards of training and ethics in their private practice. This registration or licence is your assurance that our therapists are not only appropriately trained,  but also bound by a code of conduct that prioritises your well-being and confidentiality. It also ensures they are engaging in continual professional development.

We know that therapy starts with finding the right therapist so MTH offers clients a wide range of choices to ensure they find the therapist that best suits their individual needs. Flexible options for therapy sessions include both online and in-person appointments catering to different preferences and lifestyles. In addition, therapists offering a variety of approaches are available – enabling clients to choose a style that resonates most with them. Whether seeking a therapist nearby or one with specific expertise, Men’s Therapy Hub ensures that clients have access to diverse and personalised options for their mental health journey.

All the therapists signed up to MTH are not just experienced practitioners but professionals who recognise the unique challenges that men face in today’s world. Our therapists offer a wide range of experiences and expertise meaning clients can find someone with the insight and experience to offer them relevant and effective support.

Furthermore, MTH will aid our therapists to engage in Continuing Professional Development (CPD) specifically focused on men’s mental health. This will include staying up-to-date with the latest research, therapeutic approaches and strategies for addressing the issues that affect men. We’ll also feature men out there, doing the work, so we can all learn from each other. By continually developing their knowledge and skills, our therapists are better equipped to support clients in a way that’s informed by the most current evidence-based practices.

If you’re ready to take the next step towards positive change we’re here to help. At Men’s Therapy Hub, we’ll connect you with an accredited experienced male therapist who understands your experiences and is dedicated to helping you become the man you want to be

Our mission statement

Men were once at the forefront of psychotherapy, yet today remain vastly underrepresented in the field. Currently, men make up around a quarter of therapists and less than a third of therapy clients globally. We hope that Men’s Therapy Hub will help to normalise men being involved in therapy on both sides of the sofa.
More men are seeking therapy than ever before, but we also know that dropout rates for men are exceedingly high. Feeling misunderstood by their therapist is one of the key factors affecting ongoing attendance for men. That’s why our primary function is helping more men find good quality male therapists they can relate to.
We know that men face unique challenges including higher rates of suicide, addiction and violence. Research shows that male-led mental health charities and male-only support groups are showing positive results worldwide, so we’re committed to building on that momentum.
Our mission is twofold: to encourage more men to engage in therapy whether as clients or therapists and to create a space where men feel confident accessing meaningful life-changing conversations with other men.

We hope you’ll join us.

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